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This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when a woman talk about feelings or about her problems. When a woman innocently shares upset feelings or explores out loud the problems of every day, a man mistakenly assumes she is looking for some expert advice. He probably puts on his Mr. Fix It hat and begins giving advice; this is his way of trying to help and showing love.

火星人的这种风俗成了女人讨论男人本能地给予解答的问题之一。当一个女人只纯粹地分享她沮丧的感觉或大声说出她这天遇到的问题时，男人就误以为她在寻找一些专家的建议，于是他戴上了"修理先生"的帽子，开始给予建议，以此示爱及尝试帮助她。

Once he's offered a solution, however, and she continues to be upset it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because his solution is being rejected. He feels useless.

若他提供解答，她却仍沮丧不堪，他必会因解答受拒及感到自己无用而难以再倾听她的谈话。

He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive. He does not know that on Venus talking about problems is not an invitation to offer a solution.

他不晓得只是专注与感兴趣的倾听，对女人而言就是支持的表现，他也不知道在金星的世界中，谈论问题并非就是寻求解答的邀约。

LIFE ON VENUS
Venusians have different values. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships and their communication. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.

金星人的生活
金星人重视的东西则与火星人不一样，她们重视爱、沟通、美与关系。她们花许多时间互相支持、帮助、教育。她们透过感觉和关系品质来诠释自己存在的意义；透过分享与建立关系来经历满足感。

Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals and success. Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfillment.

沟通最重要。分享个人感觉比完成目标和成功更重要。彼此交谈和建立关系是满足感的最大来源。

This fulfillment is hard for a man to comprehend. He can come close to understanding a woman's experience of sharing and relating by comparing it to the satisfaction he feels when he wins a race, achieves a goal, or solves a problem.

男人很难理解这点。他只能借由赢得赛跑、达到目标、解决问题等的满足感经验来接近、了解女人分享与建立关系的经验。

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