Hints:

American

Chinese

 

 

 

 


 









That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an American table , for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer, and the American hosts take a "no"to mean "no", whether it's the first, second, or third time. Recently, a member of a delegation sent to China by a large American corporation complained to me about how the Chinese had asked them three times if they would be willing to modify some proposal, and each time the Americans had said "no"clearly and definitely. My friend was angry because the Chinese had not taken their word the first time. I recognized the problem immediately and wondered why the Americans had not studied up on cultural differences before coming to China. It would have saved them a lot of confusion and frustration in their negotiations. Once you've learned the signals and how to respond, life becomes much easier, When guests come, I know I should immediately ask if they'd like a cup of tea. They will respond,"Please don't bother,"which is my signal to fetch tea.
这种谦虚使许多中国人去了美国人家里吃饭时不能吃饱，因为按照中国的礼节，任何东西需要再三推让才能接受，而美国主人则认为“不要”就是“不要”，不管是第一次，第二次还是第三次。 最近，美国某大公司访华的一位成员向我抱怨说，关于他们愿不愿意修改某提议，中国人竟问了他们三次，而且每次美国人都清清楚楚，斩钉截铁的说“不”。我的朋友很生气，因为中国人没把他们第一次说的话当回事。我马上就意识到问题所在，而且奇怪这些美国人为什么没在去中国之前彻底研究一下文化差异。那样他们在谈判中就可以免去很多困惑和挫折。 一旦你知道了应答的信号和方法，生活就变轻松多了。当客人刚到的时候，我知道我应该马上问他们要不要喝茶。他们会说：请不要麻烦了。”这正是我该去泡茶的信号。