I recently asked 5 of the most successful couples I know for their best advice on how to create a fantastic love life.  I wanted to know what they’d done to keep their love alive for 100+ combined years of life together.
最近我问过身边最幸福的五对情侣,到底如何才能让爱情生活甜蜜长久。我想知道究竟他们如何做到两个人在一起生活这么久,还能如此美满幸福。

1. Ask For Praise
寻求赞美

Expecting your partner to notice things without prompting is often very unfair and can lead to resentment. Keep the beast away by speaking up and bringing attention to things you’d like your partner to notice. If you’ve done something you’d like your partner to take notice of, say something! Got your hair did? Say something! Fixed the dining room table so it doesn’t teeter? Say something!
要想你的另一半时时刻刻都注意到你的一切似乎有点不大么公平,反而会招来抱怨。所以不妨直接说出来你到底希望他注意哪些方面吧。如果你做了希望得到他注意的事情,就说出来!做头发了?说出来!修了客厅摇摇晃晃的桌子?说出来!

You did this instinctively when you were a child. Remember running up to a parent or guardian and asking them to look at a picture you’d colored or cape you’d made out of an expensive tablecloth? For most of us, the response was one of amazement (if a bit contrived) and vocal appreciation for our obvious talents.
孩童时期你总是会自然而然的说出这些事。总是提醒父母或是老师看看你在一块昂贵的桌布上涂鸦?大多数时候,我们得到的都是惊叹和赞美,毕竟这也算是天赋嘛。

You’re not so very different now. You still love to be praised when you’ve done well. Even if it’s something you should have done earlier in the week or missed a detail on. How to get that praise? Ask for it and agree to give it when your partner asks you for some appreciation. You know not to crush a child’s spirit by ignoring their efforts to impress you. Are you as smart about your partner?
你不需要变得和以前完全不一样。只要做得好你还是可以渴望得到赞扬。哪怕有些事是你应该早点做的,或是被你忽视的一些细节。去寻求赞美,同时也在另一半找你寻求赞美时不吝啬给予。你知道要去赞美小孩不打消他们的积极性。那么你对自己的另一半是不是也应该采取这样聪明的做法呢?

2. In Everything, Give Thanks
每件事都别忘记说谢谢

Say “Thank You” and make an effort to regularly demonstrate your genuine gratefulness for all your partner does for you. There are going to be times when this will seem an impossible chore. Perhaps you’ll be furious with your partner over something or other. They’ll point out something they did, hoping for praise. How will you respond? Will you offer your praise and thanks then deal with your anger separately? Or will you close up like a shell and torture your partner with inconsolable silence?
常说“谢谢”,另一半为你做的每件事都值得你去真心感谢。可能有时候你会把这当成是不可能实现的日常琐事,又或者因为另一半忽视了某事感到生气,但此时他们说出来自己做了什么,正等到你的赞美,你会如何回复?你会先赞美一番,再来表达自己的不满么?或者你就默不作声,用冷暴力来折磨他?

You care about making your relationship work so I expect you’ll swallow your momentary pride and say thank you. After all, your partner deserves at least the same courtesy you’d give to a complete stranger. When you cannot be gracious, be polite. Make a habit of offering thanks to your partner, even for the tiniest of things, and a sapling of thankfulness will grow into something strong enough to support you both.
如果你真的在乎这段关系,我建议你还是先放下自己的自尊,对他说句谢谢。毕竟,这是连陌生人都会享受到的待遇。如果你无法做到温柔,那就礼貌一点。习惯和另一半说谢谢,哪怕是非常非常小的事情,一点感激之情会转化为两人之间坚实的情感。

3. Schedule Time For Each Other
为对方安排时间

If you were worried about killing spontaneous romance by scheduling time with your partner, you wouldn’t be reading this. For the rest of us with busy lives and hectic schedules, an exhausting Wednesday is easier to handle knowing that Thursday at 6pm we get a few hours with our best friend
.
如果你担心为对方安排时间会影响浪漫,那就不要读这段了。对于大部分人来说,都是非常忙碌的,如果知道周四下午六点可以和好友见面,那么劳累的周三似乎也不是那么难度过了。

All that’s left is to actually be present with your partner during the focused time you have together. This, according to all voices heard in my less-than-scientific survey, is one of the hardest parts of any long-term relationship.
剩下来你要做的就是和他在一起时注意力集中。根据不是那么科学的调查些事,这是所有长期关系中最难做到的部分。

Dinner with kids at the table doesn’t count as real presence. Sitting on the couch while you both have laptops running in front of you doesn’t count either. In fact, most of the things we do as couples fall into the realm of proximity instead of true presence. A simple test (thanks, Debbie!) is to see if you need to get your partner’s attention before talking for them to hear what you say.
和孩子们在桌上吃饭不能算是真正的相处。两个人坐在沙发上各抱着一个笔记本也不算。实际上,大部分时间我们做的事情都不属于真正的相处。一个简单的测试(感谢,Debbie!)就可以看看在你要求他听你说话前是否已经得到了另一半的注意。

You’ll be tempted to use your regular time together as the time for you to angrily vent and argue. Don’t do it! This is your time to catch up with the person you love. If you can’t think of something wondrous and warm to say, chew on silence and just be. There’s something about focused presence with a loved one that helps troubles sink away just a bit. Make the most of your time together!
也许你还会把相处的时光变的充满泄愤和争辩。千万别这么做!你是在和你爱的人相处。如果你想不到什么好玩温暖的事情去说,那就沉默吧。专心和自己爱的人在一起能把烦恼都抛在脑后。好好利用你们在一起的时间吧!

4. Agree On How To Argue
制定争吵规则

Sometime when you’re not even a little angry with each other, sit down and talk about how you fight. Then lay down some rules you both agree to follow during future arguments.
有的时候你对他真的是气到发疯了,那么不妨坐下来,好好想想到底为什么这样。然后为以后可能出现的争吵两人一起制定一些规则吧。

Nobody leaves during an argument without saying where they’re going.Arguments that last longer than 3 days are obviously stupid and will not be allowed to continue.
任何人都不得在争吵后不告而别。超过三天的争吵都是愚蠢的,应该及时停止。

An argument will never mean that the relationship itself is in question. One of the most difficult but smartest things to say during an argument is, “I love you but I’m so pissed at you about/for/because [insert argument here].” Keeping the argument separate from the relationship status is key to getting things back on track. You could call it a shortcut through very dark woods.
争吵并不意味着感情出现了问题。争吵时最难也最聪明的做法就是说“我爱你,但是对于...我真的无力吐槽。” 把争吵和感情分割开来就可以让一切走向正常轨道。你也可以把这个称为是黑森林中的捷径吧。

5. Say You’re Sorry Every Day
5.每天都说对不起

Apologizing is a lot like learning a foreign language. The more you practice it in real-life situations, the better you become at it.
道歉不像学习外语。不是说你在在生活中练习的越多,你就不会再犯错。

If you don’t do something worth saying sorry for every day, you’re either an angel or completely blind to your own inadequacy. You need not commit some great damage against your partner before saying you’re sorry. Just be yourself. In the course of being yourself you’ll say something without thinking, forget to pick up something from the store, or complain about your day without asking about your partner’s. You’re a master at making mistakes!
你不是天使也不是神人,不可能永远都不犯错。当然在说对不起之前,也不要把所有的过错都堆在自己的身上。做你自己就好了。想想看你有时不假思索的说些什么,又或是忘记拿买好的东西或是只顾一味抱怨自己的生活忽视了对方的感受。看看你真是犯错误大师哦!

The more you ask for forgiveness, the easier it will be to admit to and gain forgiveness for all the things you do that might drive your partner away if not taken care of. Its never easy to swallow your pride and admit to screwing something up. But you need to do this and make a habit of it if you want to make your relationship the best it can possibly be.
如果你对这些小错都视为理所当然,那么就更容易犯错。如果不好好呵护,也许你的另一半就在这种无止境的宽容中渐渐远走哦。放下自尊承认自己干砸了什么并不容易。但如果你真的在乎这段感情,那就这么做吧,并养成一种习惯。