关于性格内向者的十大误解

I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. I feel like someone has written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. Not only has it explained many of my eccentricities, it helps me to redefine my entire life in a new and positive context.
我非常幸运的发现了这本《内向者优势——如何在外向的世界中获得成功》的好书,我感觉就好像是有人专门为我们这个罕见的小群体写了一部百科全书一样,它不仅对我的很多怪癖做了解释,还帮助我从一个崭新且积极的角度重新定义了我的整个人生。

A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place.
Laney 的书中有个章节对人的大脑进行了分析,并解释了神经元是如何在内向者和外向者的神经系统中跟随不同的控制通路进行传递。如果这本书基于的科学理论是正确的,那就证明了内向者是一群对多巴胺过度敏感的群体,太多的外部刺激过量的消耗了它们。相反的,外向者没有足够的多巴胺,他们需要依靠大脑的肾上腺去创造它们,外向者通常有更短的神经通路,他们的大脑血流量也相对更少,外向者神经系统中的信息大部分都是通过位于前额叶的布罗卡氏区(Broca’s area)传递的,而这里正是我们的大部分思考发生的地方。

Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.) So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (I put this list together myself, some of them are things I actually believed):
不幸的是,根据这本书,只有大约 25% 的人是内向的,而像我这样极端的就更是少上加少了,这导致了许多的误解,因为社会对我们这类人缺乏足够的了解(我很高兴我能够这样说)。所以下面我列出了一些对内向者的常见的误解(这是我自己的清单,我对其中一些深信不疑):

参与投票:内向者十大误解,你是否中枪>>

内向者不喜欢说话

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
误解1: 内向者不喜欢说话

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
并不是这样,内向者不说话只是因为他们觉得没什么好说,他们讨厌闲谈扯淡,如果你让一个内向者讲他感兴趣的事情,他可能连着几天几夜都讲不完。

相关阅读:【TED 演讲】内向性格的力量(双语视频)

内向者都很害羞

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
误解2: 内向者都很害羞

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
内向者没什么好害羞的,他们也不是害怕陌生人,他们只是需要一个理由去交际,他们不会为了交际而交际,如果你想和一个内向者交流,那就直接聊吧,不用担心礼貌问题。

相关阅读:The Power of Introverts 内向者的力量(双语)

内向者都很无礼

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
误解3:内向者都很无礼

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
内向者通常觉得遵从社交礼仪,拐弯抹角的说话没有一点必要,他们希望每个人都是真实且真诚的,但不幸的是,大多数情况下事情并不是这样,这让内向者感到很大的压力,他们很难融入其中,并为此感到沮丧。

内向者不合群

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
误解4: 内向者不合群

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
恰好相反,内向者会非常认真的对待他们为数不多的朋友,他们最亲密的朋友或许用一只手就可以统计过来,但如果你有幸被一个性格内向者当做朋友,那你就有了一个终生的盟友,一旦你作为一个人类存在赢得了他们的尊敬,你就入选了。

内向者不喜欢去公共场合

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
误解5:内向者不喜欢去公共场合

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
胡扯,内向者只是尽可能的避免去公共场所,他们同样也会尽量避免卷入复杂的公共活动,因为他们可以在极短的时间内获取需要的数据和经验,所以,他们喜欢在一个地方待很久去“得到某样东西”,他们总是准备着回家,调整,然后处理一切,实际上,调整绝对是内向者的关键所在。

内向者总是想要独处

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
误解6:内向者总是想要独处

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
内向者只是喜欢自我思考,他们会想很多,他们会白日做梦,他们喜欢解决问题,攻克难题,但是如果他们找不到什么人来分享他们的发现,他们也能忍受难以想象的孤独。他们希望在同一时间只和一个人保持亲密的感情关系。

内向者都很古怪

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
误解7:内向者都很古怪

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
内向者通常都是个人主义者,他们不喜欢随大流,他们喜欢通过特立独行的生活方式来体现自己的价值,他们总是从自我出发,正因如此,他们也常常挑战常规,他们的大部分决定都不会以当前的流行趋势做为参考。

内向者都是冷漠的书呆子

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
误解8:内向者都是冷漠的书呆子

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
内向者通常更关注内心世界,他们将更多的精力放到自身的想法和感情上,但这并不代表他们对他们身边的事情漠不关心,只是他们更喜欢通过内心世界来达成自我满足。

内向者不知道如何放松和享乐

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
误解9:内向者不知道如何放松和享乐

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
内向者通常喜欢在家或自然中放松自己,他们不会去那些嘈杂的公共场所,内向者也不会寻求肾上腺素的刺激,如果有太多的空谈和噪音,他们会敬而远之。他们的大脑对于一种叫做多巴胺的神经递质太过敏感,内向者和外向者拥有完全不同的神经控制通路,关于这一点,你可以深入了解下。

内向者可以通过“自我修复”变得外向

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
误解 10:内向者可以通过“自我修复”变得外向

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
想象一个没有内向者的世界,那个世界也就没有什么科学家,音乐家,艺术家,诗人,制片人,医生,数学家,作家和哲学家了,之所以这么说,是因为外向者还是可以通过学习掌握很多种和内向者进行交流的方式(没错,我故意颠倒了这两个词,读着很别扭?我只是为了让你们看看我们这个社会有多变态),内向者压根不需要“自我修复”,他们应该因为他们这种天生的性格和为人类做出的贡献而得到应有的尊敬,并且事实上,一项调查显示内向的程度和 IQ 成正比。

互相尊敬

It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become “normal.” Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.
内向者如果为了去适应外向者支配的世界而对自己进行否定,结果将会是灾难性的,内向者终将会仇恨自己以及其他所有人。如果你认为你是个内向者,我推荐你研究下这个题目并试着找其他的性格内向者交换下意见,问题并不完全是内向者应该尝试并“变得正常”,外向者也需要认识和尊敬我们,并且我们也需要学会尊敬我们自己。