could not help thinking...：情不自禁地想到……。cannot help doing sth情不自禁地做某事。
"Goodbye,my dear Edward!"I said. "May God protect you!" "Without your love,Jane,my life is nothing," he cried,holding out his arms to me. But I turned and ran out of the room. That night I could not sleep because I was crying so hard. When I woke up,I took a few clothes,and put a little money in a purse. As I went downstairs,I could hear Mr.Rochester in his room,walking around and around. I felt as if all my happiness in life was inside that room,with him. I just had to enter and say,"I will love you and live with you forever!" My hand moved towards the handle of the door. Almost,I opened it. But I stopped myself,and walked quietly out of the house. Walking on the road,I could not help thinking of how Mr.Rochester would feel when he saw that I had left him. I hated myself for hurting him,even though I knew what I was doing was right. I wanted desperately to be with him,to comfort him,but somehow,I made myself keep walking. When a coach pased,I asked to travel on it until I had no more money. Inside the coach,I cried the most terrible tears of my life. I felt that I would never be happy again.