小故事大挑战 11-20期
A tricky girl said, “Mom, I got a one hundred in school today!” The mom replied, “Great, sweetie, tell me about it.” The girl reluctantly said, “Well, I got a twenty in math, a thirty in history and a fifty in spelling.” It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?” “I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner. Happiness in dream There was a wife who told her husband, “last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring.” The husband put down his newspaper and said, “Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them.” Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one. The first one was sick, the second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure. A boy told his mom she was awful at raising kids. She replied, “Hold your tongue. That’s not true!” The boy said, “They why do you send me to bed when I’m not tired and wake me up in the morning when I am?” I knew a guy who played his radio only in the morning. When someone asked him why, he replied, “This is an AM radio.” Do you know what Americans call a person in the White House who is intelligent, honest and modest? The answer is “a tourist.” The Easter Bunny, an honest lawyer, Santa Claus and a drunk find a fifty-dollar bill together. Can you guess who gets to keep it? Of course, it’s the drunk because the other three don’t exist. A kid asked his dad, “Hey, Pop, can you write in the dark?” The dad answered, “Sure. What do you want me to write?” The boy said, “Your name on this report card.”
11 一个狡猾的女孩说：“妈妈，我今天在学校得了一个100分！” 妈妈回答说：“太好了，小可爱，跟我说说情况。” 这个女孩不情愿地说：“恩，我数学得了20分，历史得了30分，拼写得了50分。” 12 圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问犯人：“你做了什么坏事啊？” “我进了圣诞节购物早了些。”犯人回答。 “这么做没错啊”，法官说：“到底多早之前啊？” “商店开门之前。”犯人答道。 13 梦中的幸福 妻子告诉丈夫说：“昨天晚上我梦见你给我买了一件裘皮大衣和一个钻戒。”丈夫放下手中的报纸说：“好啊！今晚再睡着时，你就穿戴上它们吧！ 14 有三只猩猩一个接一个地从树上掉下来。 第一只生病了，第二只盲目模仿，第三只屈服于同僚压力。 15 一个男孩告诉他妈妈，说她在养育孩子方面做得很糟糕。 这位母亲回嘴说：“住口，那不是真的！” 男孩说：“那为什么你总是在我不困的时候叫我上床睡觉，在早上我困的时候叫醒我？” 16 我认识一个人，他只在早上收听广播。 当有人问他为什么时，他回答：“（我的）这一台是AM（调幅）收音机。” 17 你知道美国人如何称呼白宫里聪明、诚实、谦虚的人吗？ 答案是“观光客”。 19 复活兔、诚实的律师、圣诞老人和一个醉汉同时看到一张50美元的钞票。你能猜到是谁会保留它吗？ 当然是醉汉了，因为其他三个并不存在。 20 有个孩子问他爸爸：“嘿，爸，你能在黑暗中写字吗？” 爸爸回答：“当然，你要我写什么?” 男孩说：“在这个成绩单上写你的名字。”