1891年,处在写作生涯巅峰期的王尔德遇见了阿尔弗雷德·“波西”·道格拉斯(Alfred "Bosie" Douglas),两人很快成为了同性恋人。四年后,因为这段“不敢说出名字的爱”,王尔德被判“有伤 风化”罪而入狱。在狱中,王尔德开始反思从前的生活,思索痛苦和人生的意义,艺术和爱的真谛,最终将那些痛苦的泪水都化作优 美而深沉的文字,写成了这封名为"de profundis"(从深处)的长信。

作者简介:奥斯卡·王尔德(Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900),英国维多利亚时代著名作家,“唯美主义 运动”的领军人物,倡导“为艺术而艺术”(Art for art's sake)。他的代表作有戏剧《莎乐美》(Salome)《认真的 重要性》(The Importance of Being Earnest),童话《快乐王子》(The Happy Prince) 《夜莺与玫瑰》(The Nightingale and the Rose) ,小说《道连·格雷的画像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray),以及书信《自深深处》(De Profundis)等。

【原著选段】

Do not be afraid of the past. If people tell you that it is irrevocable, do not believe them. The past, the present and the future are but one moment in the sight of God, in whose sight we should try to live. Time and space, succession and extension, are merely accidental conditions of Thought. The Imagination can transcend them, and move in a free sphere of ideal existences. Things, also, are in their essence what we choose to make them. A thing is, according to the mode in which one looks at it. “Where others,” says Blake, “see but the Dawn coming over the hill, I see the sons of God shouting for joy.” What seemed to the world and to myself my future I lost irretrievably when I let myself be taunted into taking the action against your father: had, I dare say, lost it really long before that. What lies before me is my past. I have got to make myself look on that with different eyes, to make the world look on it with different eyes, to make God look on it with different eyes. This I cannot do by ignoring it, or slighting it, or praising it, or denying it. It is only to be done by fully accepting it as an inevitable part of the evolution of my life and character: by bowing my head to everything that I have suffered. How far I am away from the true temper of soul, this letter in its changing, uncertain moods, its scorn and bitterness, its aspirations and its failure to realise those aspirations, shows you quite clearly. But do not forget in what a terrible school I am sitting at my task. And incomplete, imperfect, as I am, yet from me you may have still much to gain. You came to me to learn the Pleasure of Life and the Pleasure of Art. Perhaps I am chosen to teach you something much more wonderful, the meaning of Sorrow, and its beauty.

Your affectionate friend
OSCAR WILDE

【朱纯深译本】

不要惧怕过去。假如人们说过去的事无可挽回,你别信。过去、现在和将来,在上帝眼中不过是一个瞬间罢了。我们应该尽量生活在上帝眼中。时间和空间,延续和拓展,不过是思想的偶然条件罢了。想象能超脱这些,在一个理想存在的自由境界中运行。事物也一样,从本质上说我们要它们怎样它们就是怎样。一事一物,是什么样子,取决于我们看它的方式。“ 别人看到的,”布莱克说,“不过是黎明越过了山头,而我看到的,是上帝的孩子在欢欣呐喊。” 当我受不了怂恿对你父亲提出诉讼时,在世人和我自己看来似乎是前程的东西,便无可挽回地失去了;我敢说,真的早在这之前就失去了。摆在面前的是我的过去。我必须使自己以不同的眼光来看待它,使世人以不同的眼光来看待它,使上帝以不同的眼光来看待它。要做到这一点,我不能大事化了,也不能大事化小,对过去既不能褒扬,也不能抵赖;只能将它作为我生命和性格进化中不可避免的一部分,完全接受,只能对我所遭遇的一切痛苦,俯首容受。我距离灵魂的真正气质有多远,这一封信,通过它变化无定的心境,它的冷嘲热讽和痛心疾首、它的抱负以及这些抱负的无可实现,向你表明得很清楚了。但不要忘记,我是在一间多么可怕的学校里做这份功课啊。尽管我不完满,不完美,从我这儿你仍然还可以得到许多。当初你投向我,要学习生活的欢娱,艺术的欢愉。也许冥冥中安排了我来教你某种奇妙得多的东西,悲怆的意义,以及它的美好。

你挚爱的朋友
奥斯卡· 王尔德

【读书笔记】

1、irrevocable a.不可取消的;不可改变的;不可挽回的
【举例】an irrevocable promise 不可收回的诺言
an irrevocable decision 不可改变的决定

2、accidental a.意外的,偶然的;非主要的,附带的
【举例】an accidental meeting 邂逅
There was nothing accidental about the incident. 这次事件绝不是偶然的。
Are these songs essential or accidental to the concert? 这些曲子对这场音乐会来说是必要的还是可有可无的?

3、evolution n.演变;进化;成长;发展
【举例】the evolution of the seasons 季节的转换
the evolution from childhood to manhood 从孩童成长为成人
the evolution of a complicated plot 复杂情节的渐次展开

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