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-- I could totally get a girlfriend if I actually tried.
-- Shut up!
只要我认真去，我一定能把到妹。闭嘴

Thousands of people are building relationships online at our site. What are you doing? You're probably just looking like a loser sitting on a couch with like a strap sweatshirt and some stupid hippy haircut.
很多很多人在我们的网站上找到另一半。你呢，在做什么？或许你就像个笨蛋一样坐在沙发上，穿着条纹汗衫，头上有个难看的发型。

-- Five, six, seven, eight.
五、六、七、八...

-- Hey, Anthony, can you help me with...Are you practicing for Circus De Olay again?
嘿，Anthony，你可以帮我一下吗？你又在练太阳马戏团的舞吗？

-- No...? What do you want?
才不是！你想怎么？

-- Can you...Help me get a girlfriend?
你可以...帮我找女朋友吗？

-- All you gotta do is act like a jerk, girls eat that crap up like strawberry cheese cake. Like this hottie tottie over here. Watch and learn!
你只要演得像个笨蛋就行。女孩最爱这套，就像爱草莓起司蛋糕一样爱。看那边的正妹！看着学吧！

Rule #1: Act like a jerk.
守则1：演笨蛋

-- Hey, Can I see your water bottle?
嘿，我可以看一下你的水杯吗？

-- Em...sure.
呃...好啊。

What are you...?
你在干...

-- So you wanna make out?
你想跟我亲热吗？

-- You sure you all right?
你确定你没事吗？

Lesson learned, don't be a jerk.上了一课，就是不要当笨蛋。

-- I'm fine! Okey? Now watch me impress some ladies with my manliness. Come on.
我没事好吗。现在看我怎么样用男子气概去吸引女生吧。来吧

Rule #2: Show your manliness.
守则2：展现男性魅力

-- I can feel the burn. Hey.
我感觉像在燃烧。嘿！

-- Ew! You should really use some Stainguard deodorant or something! Those yellow stains are disgusting.
拜托你用点体香剂什么的！那些黄色的污渍恶心死了。

Lesson learned, girls hate yellow.
上了一课，就是女生都讨厌黄色。

-- So, er, no luck with her either?
所以说，你运气也很背嘛。

-- Whatever! Okey? she gave me some stains deodorant though, look, no more yellow stains and smell my pits!
随便吧，反正她给了我一支超强的体香剂。看！没有黄色的污渍了。来，闻闻我腋下。

-- No, I'm...
不，我...

-- Dude, come on smell them!
来吧，快闻一下。

-- I don't wanna smell your...
我不想闻你的...

-- Smell my damn pits!
见鬼，闻我的腋下！

-- Oh! Actually smells pretty good!
咦，不错。

-- Yes, see? Oh, dude, check this out, I'm gonna use the same awesome to get this girl that I used to get my last girlfriend.
是吧？看，我要用把前女友的方法去把这个妹。

-- Dude she's hot!
她是个辣妹！

-- Come on man!
来吧

Rule #3: Use your secret weapon.
守则3：出动秘密武器

-- Hey girl, what's...
嘿，小姐。

-- Run!!!!
快跑！

Lesson learned, make sure it's not a man.
上了一课，就是要确定那不是个男的。

-- You know you still haven't...
其实你还是没...

-- Okey, I know I haven't. You're just dwelling off my game! You want me to get a girl? Huh?
你老是破坏我的好事。你要我把妹给你看吗？

-- All right, I'll do it, watch！
好，我现在就去，看着吧

Rule #4: Don't limit your options.
守则4：不要限制你的选择

-- Just, please go out with me?
跟我约会吧！

-- No.
不。

-- Please?
拜托

-- No!
不。

-- I could get you another strawberry cheese cake, I could get like, five!
我可以多给你一个草莓起司蛋糕。我可以给你5个。

-- No!!!
不！！！

Lesson learned, women eat food.
上了一课，就是女生是吃食物的。

-- Come on, I have some really good...
拜托啦，我很棒的。

-- I'm never gonna get any girls !
我永远也不可能有女朋友了！

-- Oh~ you poor baby.
噢，可怜的小宝贝。

-- What? Why? What the hell are you doing?
什么？！为什么！你在干什么？！

-- This poor boy was crying, and then I, I gave him my phone number to see if he wanted to talk about his feelings later.
这可怜的小宝贝在哭，所以我把我的电话号码给他了。看他待会儿想不想倾诉一下。

Send this video to a friend who can't get a girlfriend, or boyfriend.
把这段影片给没有女友的朋友看，或没有男友的朋友。

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