Perhaps he was thirsty, or it was because he never got enough calcium as a child, or maybe he had a thing for dressing like a farm animal.
或许,他是渴了;或许,他从小缺钙;又或许,他对“人扮兽装”情有独钟。

Whatever the reason Stafford sheriff's authorities say a man donned a cow costume and not walked, but crawled into a Walmart store on Garrisonville Road in North Stafford.
不管是神马原因,据斯塔福县政府的消息,一个穿着奶牛装的男子爬(注意,是“爬”不是“走”哦!)进了北斯塔福Garisonville路上的一家沃尔玛。

On two feet, security guards inside the store said the upright cow was caught on video tape placing 26 gallons of milk - about $92 worth of the moo-cow juice - into a shopping cart, and then simply rolled it out of without paying.
商场保安说,他们在录像中看到这只两脚直立的“奶牛”把26加仑价值约92美元的牛奶放进购物车,然后木有付钱,直接推了出去。

He then attempted to give the milk away to customers outside the store, and tried to flee the scene by skipping away, police said.
警察说,接着这头“奶牛”试图把偷来的牛奶分给店外的顾客,随后连蹦带跳的逃离了现场。

Jonathan Payton, 18, of North Stafford was issued a summon for shoplifting, and was released on his own recognizance.
当地警方以商场盗窃罪名向18岁的乔纳森·佩顿发出传票,随后又在他本人的担保下将其释放。

As for the milk: a store manager found it sitting in a shopping cart outside the store. The cow costume was also recovered.
至于被偷去的牛奶嘛,被商场一位管理员在店外的购物车上发现了,而那件奶牛装最终也被找到了。

原来,偷东西也可以这么有创造性啊。。。

笑过之后,我们来看看文中的几个语言点吧:

1. have a thing for 对……十分喜欢/厌恶,特别恐惧

I always have a thing for cowboys.
我总是很迷牛仔。

Why do all men have a thing for manipulation?
为什么所有的男人都有控制欲?

All right, look, I do. I have a little thing for him. Just…
好吧,你说的没错 我对他是有点感觉,只是……

2. don v. 穿上

Bankers don aprons and become expert barbecue chefs.
银行家穿上围裙,就成了专业的烧烤厨师。

3. give away 赠送,分发

What can Santa give away and still keep?
啥子东西圣诞老人可以分发送去,本身却也还留着?

With the best kind of work, you always feel like you give it away to the audience.
创作最好的作品,你总是感觉象把礼物分发到观众的手中。

4. issue 颁发,发给,一般是比较官方或正式的时候用~比如:issue a passport/certificate/document/business license/cash card/check/invitation...

5. recognizance 保证金,所以release on one's own recognizance就是某人交了保证金然后被释放的意思~

6. as for 关于,至于

As for climate, food, and entertainment, I think home is best.
至于气候、食物和娱乐,我认为国内是最好的。

As for your payment term, is they down payment or unasked payment?
贵公司的付款条件是下定金呢还是分期付款?