反恐车

Technology has always played a big role in fighting terrorism. Some inventions are truly useful and will undoubtedly save lives, whereas others are so bizarre that one wonders how in the world they got patented. This list is about the latter: Behold the Top 8 Strangest Anti-Terrorism Patents!
科技在反恐斗争中一直扮演着重要角色。某些发明确实有用，关键时刻总能救人一命，另一些发明却诡异得让人怀疑它们是怎么拿到专利的。下面我们就来看看史上最搞怪的八大反恐专利吧~

1、Anti-Terrorist Truck 反恐车

Problem: Terrorists can pop up at any time, leaving local authorities totally defenseless against their raging attacks.
问题：恐怖分子随时都可能跳出来，把地方当局打个落花流水。

Solution: When terrorists walk past this non-descript truck parked quietly on the street, its roof pops out to reveal a machine gun turret! If that doesn't strike fear into the heart of Jihadis, well ... then we can still mow 'em down!
解决方案：这辆车没有任何明显特征，静静地停在路边。当恐怖分子路过的时候，车顶上就会弹出一个机关枪炮台！如果这样都吓不倒他们的话……那就直接爆头好了！

Bonus: Also great for battling zombies.
附加效果：同样适用于打僵尸。

自带厕所的生化服

2、Biohazard Suit with Built-In Toilet 自带厕所的生化服

Problem: You got to wear a biohazard suit to protect against biological or chemical weapons ... but as soon as you put it on, you really gotta go!
问题：为了保护自己免遭生化武器危害，你需要穿上生化服，但是当你终于穿好它……你就该内急了。

Solution: A biohazard suit with a built-in toilet! Just squat a little bit and go.
解决方案：一件内置厕所的生化服！只要稍微下蹲，就可以嘘嘘了。

Potential Complications: How do you wipe?
潜在问题：要肿么擦PP……

铁路导弹系统

3、Railroad Missile System 铁路导弹系统

Problem: Terrorists may attack a missile silo, a stationary target if there ever is one.
问题：导弹发射井因为是固定的，很容易成为恐怖分子袭击的目标。

Solution: Make it mobile. Here's a patent for a railroad missile garrison system that launches ICBMs from rail cars of a train.
解决方案：让它动起来！这个铁路导弹系统能从火车上发射洲际弹道导弹！

Bonus: Makes a great movie plot!
附加效果：又一部电影大片诞生了！

小狗耳机

4、Doggie Earphone 狗狗耳机

Problem: It's well known that Al Qaeda terrorists hate dogs, but how do you tell the animals to get to these dirty SOBs if they can't hear you? (You being a far away, of course, preferably in the safety and comfort of a bunker.)
问题：众所周知，“基地”组织成员最怕的就是狗。而当你躲在安全的地方，想让狗狗们去干掉这些操蛋的恐怖分子，它们却听不见你的指令，怎么办？

Solution: a custom-fitting earpiece for dogs so they can receive verbal instructions remotely.
解决方案：特制的狗狗耳机，让它们可以远程接收你的口头指令！

Bonus: The method specifically said four-legged non-human animal, so I'm thinking this will work with goats. Attack goats.
附加效果：该装置适用于所有四足非人类生物，所以应该也可以用于山羊。攻击性山羊。

飞机陷阱

5、Airplane Trap Door 飞机陷阱

Problem: Terrorists want to hijack a plane by trying to break down the cockpit door.
问题：恐怖分子会闯入驾驶舱，劫持飞机。

Solution: After hardening the cockpit door, airlines should add the next logical step: airplane trap door that springs open to entrap terrorists below deck.
解决方案：除了加固驾驶舱门之外，飞机上还需要一个可以瞬间弹开捉住恐怖分子的陷阱。

Improvement Suggestion: Add an alligator pit to the trap door ... or better yet, some motherf-ckin' snakes on the motherf-ckin pit!
改进建议：在陷阱里放鳄鱼……或者干脆特么的放蛇好了！

航班乘客控制系统

6、Passenger Control System During Flight 航班乘客控制系统

Problem: A terrorist is onboard, and you want to disable him without harming the other passengers.
问题：飞机上有恐怖分子，如何废了他而又不伤害其他乘客呢？

Solution: Make all passengers wear armbands that monitors their body for signs of falsehood and evil. And did I mention there's a syringe filled with a strong tranquilizer connected to the thing? One "anomalous emotional condition," then off to dreamland they go!
解决方案：让所有乘客佩戴特制的臂章，通过臂章来监控乘客的情绪有无异常。臂章上还有一个装满强效镇定剂的注射器，当发现“情绪异常者”时，该装置会立刻送他去见周公！

Bonus: Works for unruly kids.
附加效果：对不听话的小盆友同样适用。

反自杀式爆炸网

7、Explosion Containment Net 反自杀式爆炸网

Problem: Suicide bombers may detonate their bomb and kill a lot of people.
问题：自杀式炸弹会炸死很多人。

Solution: It may look like an umbrella, but that's actually a kevlar net fired from a special gun to encapsulate and contain a bomb's blast. The net also contains a tube for dispensing fire suppressant agent.
解决方案：这货看起来像把伞，但它其实是一个由特殊枪支发射的kevlar纤维网，可以阻挡爆炸产生的火焰和冲击波。网里还有一条可以喷洒灭火剂的管子。

Bonus: Great for fishing or tackling.
附加效果：捕鱼必备之利器。

移动火葬场

8、Mobile Crematorium 移动火葬场

Problem: When all effort to prevent a large scale act of terrorism failed and the body count of victims is high, then something is needed to get rid of the bodies...
问题：当阻止大规模恐怖袭击的行动失败之后，会有很多受害者的尸体需要处理……

Solution: A mobile crematorium - basically a combustion chamber on wheels.
解决方案：移动火葬场——基本上就是一个带轮子的燃烧室。

Bonus: Probably makes a mean BBQ! Also works to get rid of dead zombies.
附加效果：可以搞一场恶心的烧烤！也可以用来处理死掉的僵尸……(啊喂僵尸本来就是死的吧……)