一、雅思考试写作范文

2010年5月15日

People study through distance-learning programmes (I.E. the study material by post, by internet). However, courses can never be taken as good as those taken by attending in a college or university in person.

To what extend do you agree with it? Compare the two education method.

written by Ryan

I whole-heartedly agree that distance-learning programs are generally inferior to attending courses in a traditional university or college. However, that does not mean that I believe distance learning courses are without merit. They do serve a very useful and flexible function, and have increased the scope of educational opportunities around the globe.

Distance-learning programs, such as those taken over the internet, have made a collegiate level education possible for a great number of people who would have otherwise been cut off from this possibility. Access to a high level education has always been one of the great social divides, so providing this service to an ever burgeoning number of people cannot be seen in anything other than a positive light. Many people simply do not have the time, money, or local access to institutions of higher learning, so what alternative do they have if they wish to continue their education? Expectant mothers, full-time workers, rural villagers, and even the elderly who might not believe they would be comfortable in a university setting, have all seen this new option as a boon to further their goals.

On the other hand, actively participating in a classroom setting with fellow students and teachers is usually superior to distance-learning because it allows for more intellectual stimulation and instant feedback. A few minutes of guidance and insight from a skilled educator can be worth its weight in gold, and conversation with other classmates can add a fresh perspective to research or academic discussions. So, I believe a traditional academic setting is superior to distance-learning programs, but if this is not an option, that the new study programs can be very effective.（276字）

二、范文分析

雅思写作task2字数要求250以上，但因为时间有限（60分钟，两个task），因此那么既要写满字数，又要保证文章的完整性，因此要懂得如何收尾，比较合理的段落安排为四段式。（五段、六段甚至更长在时间允许的情况下是合理的，甚至是鼓励的有许多问题需要较长的篇幅才能做到fully-developed，但是就考试言，250字左右的文章，段落字数安排分别为50+90+90+50比较合理。）

1、破题

题目要求compare。因此，只对第二个句子进行议论：“However, courses can never be taken as good as those taken by attending in a college or university in person.” 而第一句话“People study through distance-learning programmes”是一个social phenomenon，不需要进行议论。通过比较distance-learning programs和learning in classroom and from teachers，得出谁优谁劣。

2、本文结构

第一段，直抒胸臆，作者了交代观点。第三句话简要概述了distance-learning program的优点。但没有background information的交代。

第二段， Distance-learning programs的优点。高等教育的重要性validates Distance-learning programs存在的必要性。因为“Many people simply do not have the time, money, or local access to institutions of higher learning”再次加强了Distance-learning programs存在的必要性。虽然没有出现明显的举例字眼：for instance等等。后文列举“Expectant mothers, full-time workers, rural villagers, and even the elderly”使得行文遵循general-specific的思维模式，条理清晰，非常的reader-friendly。

第三段， 用on the other hand进行转折，引出actively participating in a classroom setting with fellow students and teachers is usually superior to distance-learning的观点。列举了课堂学习的优点。

General: intellectual stimulation and instant feedback;

Specific: a few minutes of guidance and insight from a skilled educator;conversation with other classmates

随后，用so进行总结结尾。

3、改进建议

总览全文发现，作者的主要观点是偏向认为traditional learning method为superior。因此，应该将更多的篇幅来写learn with teachers and classmates的优点。事实上，即使写distance-learning program的用意是让步，先承认它好，再强调tradition更好。

此外，文章三段式是不合理的，用so匆匆结尾，有虎头蛇尾之感。因此真正考试时，大家要把握好时间。

4、学习借鉴

文章中还是有一些句型和词汇值得学习。尤其值得学习的是虚拟语气，在文中的强调作用十分显著。

1. However, that does not mean...are without merits. （此句用在开头，为让步作铺垫）

2. ...make ... possible for sb who would have otherwise done...(虚拟语气)

3. social divide 社会分水岭，社会差距

bridge the social divide 缩短差距

narrow the gap between A and B

4. an burgeoning number of 可替代more and more

5. who might not believe they would 注意虚拟

6. actively participating 将副词用在被修饰的形容词前

7. allow for 提供机会

make a possibility or provide opportunity for

8. intellectual stimulation 激发智力 （develop one’s creativity）

9. instant feedback

10. be worth its weight in gold of significant value

11. add a fresh perspective to 补充新观点