THE PROBLEM
问题 

I manage a team of mainly male staff, who initially either resented or flirted with me, but then I won their respect. A week ago, I came to work early and was accosted by two men who tied me up, gagged me, robbed me and left me face down on the floor. I struggled but couldn't escape. I was rescued two hours later by four of my staff. They were sympathetic, but my dignity and pride are demolished. I walk around the office feeling empty. How do I get my authority back?
我管理的团队以男性员工为主，一开始他们要么憎恨我，要么跟我调情，但后来我赢得了他们的尊敬。一周前的那天，我很早来到单位，有两个男人上来搭话，接着就把我捆住，用东西塞住我的嘴，抢走了我的钱，然后就扔下趴在地上的我逃走了。我试图挣脱但没有用。两个小时后，我的四名下属赶到救了我。他们很同情我，但我的尊严和骄傲已一扫而光。我带着空荡荡的心情在办公室里转来转去。我该如何恢复威信呢？

Manager, female, 33
经理，女，33岁

LUCY'S ANSWER
露西的答案

I like the way you describe your ordeal. You are cool, factual and not self-pitying. You weren't afraid of your attackers; it is the response of your staff that frightens you.
我喜欢你描述自身遭遇的方式。你很镇定，只说事实，没有自怜自哀。你害怕的不是袭击你的人，而是你下属的反应。

I don't find this at all odd. Having one's staff see one as weak and vulnerable is humiliating. I can also see why you're discombobulated by their sympathy. I nearly have a fit if anyone in the office says something as mild as "poor you" because I feel they are trying to get one over on me.
我不觉得这有什么奇怪。被自己的下属看成是软弱且易受伤害的人，是件丢脸的事情。我也能理解为何他们的同情令你惶惶不安。如果办公室里有人哪怕只是说了句“你这可怜的人儿”这样轻描淡写的话，我都几乎要火冒三丈，因为我觉得他们是在试图让我难堪。

But I don't think the four who untied you did necessarily see you as weak. I am also sure that their sympathy is not the undermining, political kind, but the simple sympathy one feels for anyone in a tight spot.
但我不认为那四名为你松绑的下属一定会觉得你软弱。我也可以肯定，他们的同情不是暗中损人、工于心计的那种，而是看到有人身陷困境时产生的单纯的同情感。

I am trying to imagine how I'd feel if I had found my boss tied up on the floor on arriving at work. I think, once I had untied her, I'd feel weird about it too, as if the natural order of things had been interrupted. I would want her to return to normal as soon as possible.
我试着想像，如果换作是我到单位时发现老板被捆着躺在地上，将作何感想。我认为，一旦给她松了绑，我也会觉得整件事情颇为怪异，就好象事物的自然秩序被打乱了一样。我会希望她尽快回归常态。

What happened was embarrassing for everyone and it is in everyone's interests to draw a heavy veil over the whole thing. You say you feel empty, which isn't surprising; that is what happens when one is in shock. Most readers think you need counselling to help you come to terms with what happened, but I'm not at all convinced.
发生这种事，所有人都会感到尴尬，因此对整件事情避而不谈，对大家都有好处。你说你感觉空荡荡的，这并不令人意外——处在震惊状态的人都会有这种感觉。大多数读者认为，你需要心理辅导来帮助你接受所发生的一切，但我根本不这样认为。

Instead, I think you need to fake it. Pretend to be exactly as you always were. In time, the memory will recede and you will find you aren't pretending any more - you'll be yourself again. And when you are, I believe your staff will think you are even tougher and more professional than they did before.
我反倒认为，你需要装模作样一番，假装自己还是一如往常。一段时间后，记忆就会淡去，你会发现自己已经不是在伪装了——你再次恢复常态。到那时，我相信你的下属会认为，你比他们过去想的还要坚强和专业。

I'm not worried about your ability to get your authority back. But there is something else that concerns me. Do you really have to get in several hours before everyone else?
我并不担心你恢复威信的能力。但另一件事令我担忧。你真有必要比其他人提前几小时到单位吗？

恰逢国庆60周年，沪江网店6大活动欢乐送。现在报名2010年3月中高级口译课程，即可以享受预售优惠价，直接优惠40元。非常实在的优惠，不要错过咯！
◆ 点击此处查看你的学币数以及开通课程>>>

想为世博会工作吗？填写下面的表格，你也有机会！（请填真实信息哦）详情请见>>