被不熟的人称为“亲爱的”或者“亲”，你习惯吗？

For me, one of daily challenges is being addressed as "sweetie" or "hon" by complete strangers.

对我来说，有一个日常的小烦恼就是被一个全然不认识的人称为“亲爱的”或是“甜心”。

I get this regularly--from the coffee-cart vendor or department store salesperson, on the phone or at a doctor's office. Since when do strangers feel they can address others with such familiarity?
我经常被卖咖啡的小贩或百货商店售货员这么叫，在电话里或是在医生办公室里。从什么时候开始，陌生人感觉他们可以用这样熟稔的称呼叫别人的？

It rankles that some of the people I get this from are young enough that I could pass for their mother--that is, if I had had kids early. I understand the attempts to be friendly or convey warmth, but would the salesperson or vendor addressing me as I stand before them in a suit do the same to a man next to me dressed similarly? Somehow I doubt it.

更让人可恼的是，有些这么称呼我的人还很年轻，我够当他们的妈妈了——如果我早点生了孩子的话。我明白这些人试图表现得亲切或是表示对你的热情，但是这些售货员如此称呼站在她们面前西装革履的我，她们也会对我旁边同样西装革履的男人也这样称呼吗？我有点怀疑。

Is it a generational thing? Or a cultural disconnect? One colleague says she doesn't mind at all being called "sweetie" because it makes her feel young.
是因为年代不同了吗？还是文化差异？我的一个同事说，她一点也不在意有人叫她“亲爱的”，因为这让她感觉自己很年轻。

I guess I'm of the Jane Austen school of social conduct that believes "sir" and "ma'am," "please" and "pardon me" are proper forms of address in daily discourse. I say "excuse me, ma'am" or "sir, could you please..." when I have a question or need assistance. Perhaps I exaggerate, but I do sometimes worry that the increasing erosion of good manners I see every day or read about could spell the end of a civilized society.

我猜我在社交行为准则上属于简·奥斯汀派，认为“先生”和“女士”，“请”和“对不起”是日常交流中适宜的说法。我会在有问题或需要帮助时说“对不起，女士”或“先生，您能……”。或许我夸大其词了，不过我有时真的担心，我每天看到的或是读到的礼貌举止的日益衰败可能预示着文明社会的终结。

A New York Times article last year detailed how being called "sweetie" or "dear" chips away at the dignity of older people. "Professionals call it elderspeak, the sweetly belittling form of address that has always rankled older people," the article says. The piece refers to studies showing "that the insults can have health consequences, especially if people mutely accept the attitudes behind them."

去年《纽约时报》上的一篇文章详细讲述了对年长的人来说，被称为“亲爱的”有损他们的尊严。文章中说，这种甜蜜但带有贬低色彩的称呼形式总会让年长的人感到恼怒。文章引述了研究结果，说这种侮辱性称呼能带来健康问题，特别是如果人们默默地接受了称呼背后的态度时。

On several occasions, I speak up, asking others to refrain from addressing me with undue familiarity. Just tell me yes or no or provide help or point me to the right direction--no niceties or terms of endearment necessary.

在某些场合，我会大声说出来，请别人不要用过于熟稔的称呼来叫我。干脆点，告诉我“是”还是“否”，提供帮助或给我指路，不需要亲切的称呼或是表示喜爱的词汇。

Readers, what's your take on this? Do you mind being "sweetie-d" by strangers? Have you used these terms yourselves to casually address people you don't know?

朋友们，你对此有何看法？你在意被陌生人称为“亲爱的”吗？你自己用这样的词称呼过陌生人吗？

让我们来听听来自支持者和反对者的不同声音：

反感“亲爱的”称呼：

brian wrote:
Please oh please stop with the belittling "sweetie" and "hon". I'm a 25 year old guy and when people address me in that manner it's always irked me, especally coming from someone who looks about my age.

daughter wrote:
You suggest that women are the only ones being called “sweetie” and “hon,” but my dad gets it all the time when we eat out. And yeah, it rankles him too; I just wanted to point out that men hear these same terms and feel similarly annoyed.

Annoyed teenager wrote:
Yes I agree with you, this is one of my hates as well. I hate it when a stranger calls you "sweetie", "babe", "honey" or anything that makes you feel slightly repulsed, those are what a lover in the "70" movies would say. Not something said to a random on the street.

在意。。特别是在英国clarks鞋店听到一个女服务员用相当蹩脚的中文叫我“你好，亲爱的“的时候。。我是被雷的外焦里嫩的~~
- Bill

不喜欢这种叫法。我觉得这样的叫法不尊重别人。（如果你不知道我是谁，直呼亲爱的很不合适；如果你知道我是谁，干嘛不叫我的名字呢？）
- Kloe

作为女性 对亲昵称呼的反感是极其正常的。
- nisiuytre

喜欢“亲爱的”称呼：

canary28 wrote:
I like being called both "Hon" and "sweetie". Or at least it doesn't disturb me--it usually is a helpful clue as to my relative distance from the Mason-Dixon line. "Hun" means I'm in Maryland and "sweetie" means I should remember to order unsweetened tea. :-)

Fellow Juggler wrote:
Where do you live? Sweetie and hon tend to be used more in the South. They are simply culturally acceptable expression_r_rs in certain parts of the country and aren’t an indictment against your youth and professionalism.

Marla wrote:
I call people "Sweetie" all the time. I don't do it intentionally nor does it matter if the person if 5 or 85. I'm from Texas, and it's what we do.

大家这么叫希望轻松亲切一点 有谁喜欢冷冰冰呢
- kidultt

不会啊~~~ 住在英国的小镇上，每周open market，卖菜的大叔都会叫你"love""honey"~~ 觉得他们超可爱超亲切~~~
- vivcat

对“亲爱的”习以为常的中立派：

GaMom wrote:
Funny. This doesn't bother me at all, but living in a smallish Southern town, I get it about 20 times/day.

Emma wrote:
I don't take offense at these terms, though I never use them myself.

亲爱的 宝贝的 虚情假意的世界
但当绝大多数人接受这亲爱的以后 我倒觉得这个词完全中性了
- Sweetieva

网络语言……淘宝上几乎所有的女性掌柜都管她们的顾客叫“亲”……，这就是“亲爱的”的简称……
- Chuanmm

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