Our juggles are essentially built from relationships─with our partners, children, coworkers and friends. Effective communication is the grease that keeps our busy lives in gear. We need to be able to get our feelings and messages across to those with whom we live, work and love. When that doesn't happen, our relationships and schedules can go way out of whack, sometimes irreparably.
我们的事业和家庭实际上都是建立于各种关系之上的──与伴侣、孩子、同事和朋友的关系。有效的沟通交流是保持我们忙碌的生活正常运转的润滑剂。我们需要能够把自己的感觉和信息传达给那些与我们一起生活、一起工作和相亲相爱的人们。当无法做到这点的时候，我们的关系和日程就有可能失常，有时甚至会造成难以挽回的后果。

In today's Bonds column, my colleague Elizabeth Bernstein looks at how men and women communicate differently with their friends and with each other. Do women tend to over-share? Do men often keep their feelings bottled up inside? Are those habits harmful to emotional health and to relationships?
我的同事伊丽莎白•伯恩斯坦(Elizabeth Bernstein)曾在专栏中讨论了男性和女性在与朋友交流，以及两性间彼此沟通上的不同。女性是否过于热衷于分享？男性们是否常常把感觉埋在心里？这些习惯对心理健康和两性关系有什么坏处吗？

Yes, writes Ms. Bernstein. Relationship experts say that it might help for men to 'reveal more to others outside the relationship─and for women to zip it a bit more.' Some men keep their emotions so pent up that they eventually burst in an unhealthy fit of anger or alienate their partners or friends. Women, meanwhile, might find that obsessively talking and fretting over issues, known as 'co-rumination,' can lead to emotional difficulties, including depression and anxiety.
是的，伯恩斯坦这样写道。两性关系专家们说，如果男性能够向二人世界之外的其他人更多地倾诉，女性少说一些，可能会是有益的。一些男性把情绪闷在心里，以致于最后会一股脑儿爆发出来（这很不健康），或是疏远自己的伴侣或朋友。而女性则可能会发现，喋喋不休、对事情抱怨不止，也就是所谓的“共同反思”可能会导致情绪问题，包括抑郁和焦虑。

There are deeply rooted reasons why men and women communicate differently with their partners and friends. Many men, raised from infancy to be strong, are fearful of appearing vulnerable, scared or needy. Women, on the other hand, are often taught that it's OK to be emotional.
男性和女性在与伴侣和朋友的交流上存在不同，造成这种现象的原因根深蒂固。很多男性在孩童时就被教导要坚强，他们害怕表现出脆弱、害怕或是贫穷。相反，女性从小接受的教育就是可以把情绪表现出来。

 

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